Raising children in our digital world often feels overwhelming. A tech-saturated world is our reality and we want our children to thrive—but how do we shake the feeling that technology seems to fight good decisions whenever possible?
Consider the last few fights you’ve had with your children. Whether it was over unfinished chores, attitudes toward others, or managing school work, there’s a good chance technology was involved. As followers of Christ, we are given directions for parenting, even in regards to using tech well: Raise our children in the way they should go. But what does this look like? This process isn’t easy, but it is simple. We begin by defining the two types of tech, we model healthy tech use, and we utilize the best tech well.
Define the Two Types of Tech
Not all tech is created equal. There are two kinds and they are different by design. Tool Tech helps us create. It is dedicated to helping you accomplish goals. If you want to write a paper, Tool Tech will help you. It’ll check spelling, analyze grammar, save to the cloud, etc. Tool Tech will never nudge you with a notification, motivate you with a medal, or threaten you with demerits.
Drool Tech, on the other hand, is designed to help you consume. You might still have a task you want to accomplish and Drool Tech does promise to help—but it always comes with goals of its own. Drool Tech takes your time, focus, and money and it’s designed with user retention in mind. Those notifications, points, rankings or automatic refreshes built into apps are to encourage you to stay longer. Drool Tech is designed to distract.
Think of the last time you wanted to watch your favorite show. You opened the streaming service and yet the content you want to consume isn’t the first suggested. In fact, it may not be in the first row or even the first page. This is intentional; streaming services are designed for viewer retention. As Netflix co-founder Reed Hastings put it: “We actually compete with sleep…And we’re winning!”
Model Healthy Tech Use
Once we’ve defined the two types of tech, we are able to communicate more effectively; we’re likely not fighting about time spent writing that paper, but about how much time is spent on gaming. And this is where, as parents, we are called to accountability. Children model behavior after what they see. The admonition to godly living in Deuteronomy 6 isn’t simply about setting down the right rules, but rather it’s a call to live righteously in front of our children.
We must consider our own tech habits as we lead our families:
Are we using tech that is beneficial, not simply permissible (1 Corinthians 6:12)?
When tech leads us to sin, do we we cut it off and gouge it out (Matthew 5:28-30)?
Raising our children in a tech world isn’t about being perfect parents, but humble children of God. We are sinners, saved by grace, for good works (Ephesians 2:1-10). Our children need to see us repent well, prayerfully change our behavior when needed, and to model that even the best tech is expendable.
Use the Best Tech Well
This mindset doesn’t mean we use all tech without thoughtful consideration. We can assess the tech we use with three simple questions:
Is this tech safe?
Safe tech means that we are certain that the tech we give is a good gift—it’s an egg, not a scorpion. If my child asks for something that I know will hurt him or others around him, it is loving to say no. The safest tech is Tool Tech with no internet or app store preprogrammed with accountability.
Is my child ready?
While the goal isn’t to keep tech safe and locked-down forever, the tech we choose for our children should reflect the level of responsibility they can handle in that season—it is directly related to the amount they can are trusted in smaller, analog responsibilities. It’s not about being a “good” kid, but about demonstrating responsibility in small tasks before being given opportunities for greater risk.
Is the fruit good?
Even the safest tech, given to the most responsible child, can go sideways. If your child begins using a new tech and you notice a precipitous decline in their relationships, emotional health, sleep, enjoyment, or ability to manage their time, the best response is to remove the unhealthy tech and consider alternatives. Often, a few weeks away from the offending tech is enough to kickstart healthy habits and provide space needed to think through tech replacements.
Love God. Use Tech.
It is a high calling to raise children in a tech world, and it is a beautiful chance for us to raise up our children in the way they should go. Tech gives us a platform to discuss not only the design and purpose of specific technologies, but also how we use them and where they may extend our ability to love God and others. The goal is to use all the tech that makes us look like Jesus, and none of the tech that distracts us from him. Our call is to point our children a God and Savior who is the only true source of joy and hope they can ever know.
