Picture this: A 20-year-old woman walks into a pregnancy resource center. She's unmarried, scared, and considering abortion. Your church has faithfully supported this center for years. The volunteers counsel her, show her an ultrasound, and connect her with resources. She chooses life. Beautiful story, right?

Fast forward eight years. That same woman—now a single mom—walks into your church with her second grader. She looks at your website's small group listings. Dozens of options for married couples. Nothing for her. She attends your family ministry events, but every program seems built for families with two parents. The father-son campout. The mother-daughter tea. The marriage enrichment series. After a few months, she stops coming.

We celebrated when she chose life. But did we prepare to minister to her entire life?

Here's the uncomfortable truth: If your family ministry is designed primarily for traditional nuclear families, you're likely missing more than half the families in your community—and maybe even in your church.

The Numbers We Can't Ignore

According to Barna’s most recent The State of Today’s Family report as well as the US Census, only one quarter of US adults are in what could be considered a nuclear or traditional family (p.13). That means that most of our family ministry programming could easily neglect consideration of three-quarters of our church’s attendance. Likewise, just 50% of Christians and church attendees say their pastor understands blended and non-traditional families and their needs (p.14).

These aren't just statistics. These are families in your church's neighborhood. Some are already sitting in your pews. Many more are looking for a church home and wondering: “Will there be room for a family like mine?”

Where We've Been (And Why It's Not Enough)

Family ministry isn't new. For decades, churches have developed increasingly sophisticated approaches that we address in Reimagining Church as Family.

The Family-Based Model (“Church and Family”) continued traditional age-graded programming while adding periodic intergenerational opportunities. Weakness: It often added more to already busy schedules without fundamentally changing how we think about family ministry.

The Family-Equipping Model (“Church with Family”) went further, equipping parents to be the primary disciplers of their children. Churches developed milestone markers and rites of passage. Weakness: It can inadvertently elevate the nuclear family to near-idolatrous status, leaving those outside that structure feeling like second-class citizens.

Both models have blessed countless families. But both tend to focus primarily on traditional families with children in elementary and high school.

Which raises the question: What about families that don't fit the traditional mold? This is where we introduce “Church as Family.”

What “Church as Family” Actually Looks Like

The early church operated as a family system where Christ and the family of faith took precedence over blood relationships. Dr. Ron Hunter of D6 Family Ministry proposes this definition: Family consists of “people who share a common bond or experience through biological, theological, or relational means.” Notice: theological and relational, not just biological. This isn't about devaluing the traditional family. It's about recognizing that when we plan ministry only around traditional family structures, we unintentionally exclude huge segments of the church family.

Imagine a church where:

• Single parents don't just receive ministry—they lead it
• Grandparents aren't an afterthought but integral to intergenerational discipleship
• Empty nesters mentor young parents
• Every ministry—not just family ministry—owns the discipleship of God's family

This is what I call “Interdependent Family Ministry”: where every ministry in the church works together to ensure that everyone experiences genuine biblical community as part of God's family.

The Shift That Changes Everything

Moving toward “Church as Family” requires a fundamental shift.

We've gotten good at partnering with parents. But we need to make intergenerational relationships more accessible. Every population does indeed need their “people”—their community that protects them when vulnerable and celebrates their victories. But they also need the voices of those generations ahead of and behind them. Intergenerational discipleship invites the whole church family into faith formation. It ensures that kids from single-parent homes, foster families, other non-traditional homes and, yes, non-believing households still have multiple spiritual voices investing in them. Parents of all kinds will rarely shift from consumers to contributors unless they first feel seen and experience genuine belonging. But when they do? They become some of your most passionate leaders.

Three Steps You Can Take This Week:

Step 1: Audit Your Language (15 minutes)

Look at your church's website and bulletin with fresh eyes. Count how many times you use language that assumes a two-parent household. Then revise at least three places to use more comprehensive and communal language. Small language shifts signal big welcome.

Step 2: Have One Conversation (30 minutes)

Identify one single parent, grandparent raising grandkids, or empty nester in your church. Take them to coffee this week. Ask: “Do you feel seen and valued in our church family?” and “What's one thing we could do to help you feel more connected?” Don't defend. Just listen.

Step 3: Build One Bridge (This Month)

Find one ministry leader who shares your burden for all families. Schedule 45 minutes to dream about one intergenerational experience you could create in the next 90 days. Start small. Build one bridge. See what happens.

The beauty of these steps? They cost nothing but time and attention. Because when the church truly functions as family—when everyone has a seat at the table, when every voice matters—we don't just do better family ministry. We become the family God always intended us to be.

This is just one of many ways we encourage the church to reframe how it thinks about family and family ministry in Reimagining Church as Family. You’re invited into this conversation with us! Order your copy here.