A perspective particularly for Christian Family Ministry Leaders 

We have a character problem. In today’s world, our culture celebrates achievement, fame, and image, while quietly pushing aside humility, integrity, and faithfulness. But as Christian family ministry leaders, we are called to take a different path—a path not just of success, but of formation. We must ask: What kind of people are we raising? What kind of leaders are we becoming? 

In an impromptu conversation years ago, I was asked what I look for in a good teacher. I responded quickly: “Humility.” Then, after some thought, I added, “Integrity” and “Trustworthiness.” Why those traits? Because humility allows someone to be taught and guided. Integrity ensures consistent action, and trustworthiness forms the foundation of meaningful relationships. The more I reflected, the clearer it became: we need to go back to character. 

This pursuit of character is not just about education or leadership, it's about living a faithful, Christ-centered life. And nowhere is this more essential than in our homes, churches, and communities where the next generation is watching and learning. Family ministry, at its core, is discipleship. And discipleship without character is a house built on sand. Jesus warned us not to build our lives on sand.  

Character, unlike skills or knowledge, cannot simply be taught—it must be cultivated. As Booker T. Washington wisely said, “Character, not circumstance, makes the person.” That truth applies just as much today as it did then. Washington understood that real transformation—whether in society or in the soul—must begin from within. It is the inner life that fuels the outer witness. It is the inner life, full of the Spirit that allows the outer light to shine.  

So where do we look to learn true character? Not merely in the writings of great thinkers or moral philosophers, but in the life of Jesus Christ. Jesus did not just talk about character—He lived it. His example gives us a firm foundation to build on, especially as we raise children and lead families in a culture that often resists biblical values. 

Let’s look at several key character traits, each modeled perfectly in the life of Christ, and consider how they form the bedrock of godly formation: 

1. Hope – Trusting in God’s Promises 

In John 11:25, Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life.” Christ embodies hope by offering eternal life, reminding us that even death is not the end. Families need this kind of hope—not just optimism, but deep-rooted trust in God’s faithfulness. 

2. Helping Others – Compassion in Action 

Matthew 14:14 shows Jesus healing the sick because He “had compassion on them.” In a family and ministry context, this means teaching children that love expresses itself through service. It is in small acts of care that compassion is learned. 

3. Prudence – Wisdom in Decision Making 

In Matthew 10:16, Jesus told His disciples to be “wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Teaching children to navigate life wisely, with discernment and innocence, is vital in a world full of confusing and conflicting messages. 

4. Leadership – Serving Before Leading 

Mark 10:45 reminds us that “the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve.” In our homes, we must model servant leadership. Authority in God’s Kingdom is not about control, but about sacrifice. 

5. Optimism – Faith that Overcomes 

In Matthew 17:20, Jesus said that even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. Biblical optimism is not naïve; it’s faith-filled. It teaches our children that nothing is impossible with God.

These character traits—hope, compassion, wisdom, servant leadership, simplicity, truth, faith, and prayerful problem-solving—are not just virtues to admire. They are patterns to follow. They are not a checklist to complete but a journey to embrace. 

This is not a self-help method. It’s a call to Christ-centered formation. Just as Jesus spent years shaping His disciples through relationship, teaching, and example, so we must take the long view in our families and ministries. Formation is slow. It’s not flashy. But it’s worth everything.  

Each chapter of life presents new opportunities to grow in character. As family ministry leaders, let us walk with children and parents, not just to teach Bible stories or enforce good behavior, but to form people who look like Jesus. 

In the end, one of the most important questions we can ask is, “Did I live like Christ?” 

Let’s lead our families down to character—down to Christ. 

Read more from Kevin Jones in Reimagining Church as Family, a book that dives into the theological foundations of family, showing how God’s design is broader, deeper, and more comprehensive than we often imagine.