You might not be old enough to remember this phrase: “It’s 10 pm. Do you know where your children are?” This was a public service announcement used in the late 1960s through the late 1980s to remind parents to check up on their kids. Today, parents usually know exactly where their kids are—at home watching YouTube. Perhaps a new public service announcement might be: “It’s anytime in the day or night. Do you know what your kids are watching?”
Think about it. The television set of the past used to be like a large piece of furniture, planted smack dab in the middle of the living room and family life. Parents knew exactly what their kids were watching. They knew which programs were okay and which ones weren’t. They were in full control of every single show watched in the living room. They could be gatekeepers and heart protectors.
We don’t have clunky TV sets anymore. We have flat screens that rival the theater in picture quality and portable devices so every member of the family can have personalized entertainment available anytime and anywhere. The family television of the past is now found in everyone’s pocket, purse, backpack, or bedroom. Even though television wasn’t always wholesome decades ago, it was certainly better than the vulgarity, violence, disrespect, and sexuality shown today in excess.
I remember years ago going to see a DC superhero movie one evening which was rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence, action, destruction, and for some language. I was in my forties at the time, old enough to handle the movie’s content. But looking around that theater, I saw many young children, even including a few toddlers in strollers. That movie was too intense, too loud, and too late for those kids to see. Today’s child doesn’t have to go to the movie theater to be exposed to violence, sex, drugs, or values that run opposite to the Bible. If your child has easy access to YouTube or a streaming service, a whole world of inappropriate content is waiting to be consumed.
Can you filter every last bit of terrible content, monitor 24/7, and protect your child from ever seeing something evil online? Not really. Can you guarantee that your child will grow up with godly discernment to make wise choices? Not really. Does that mean you shouldn’t try to guide what your kids are watching since it sounds like a losing battle? Absolutely not! An involved parent can make a world of difference in limiting content, which will help a child grow up with discernment.
When you are deciding what kind of content is appropriate for your child to watch, there are general guidelines every family can use. Here are three questions you can ask to decide whether or not it is wise for your child to view a particular movie, video, or video game. You can use these questions as a basis to have conversations with your young children and teenagers.
What factual data is my child learning from this program? If there is factual data, is it correct? You want your child’s mind to be filled with truth. If the program communicates a distorted vision of reality instead of how life works in the real world, you don’t want your child watching. You want your child to be exposed to things that are real and not a distortion of reality.
What kind of character traits is this program seeking to build in my child? Is the main character someone I want my child to copy? If the humor comes from cutting others down, being rude, or showing disrespect to authority, that’s a redlight. Positive programs will teach your child to care for others, work hard, resolve conflict, or overcome obstacles.
How does this program treat family members? Television sitcoms often degrade men and fathers by making them lazy, fat, or stupid. What messages are your children hearing about men, women, marriage, and parents? How is the family represented? Is this program consistent with our family values? A child is running into all sorts of values during his or her early years. You can’t control what your child sees outside of the home at school or other places, but you can control what they are exposed to during screen time at home. What is viewed on screens should be in keeping with your family values, or it should be off limits.
It is our job as parents to teach our children the difference between appropriate and inappropriate content. Do not leave this task to a teacher, pastor, or counselor. In the same way you would not allow your child to eat candy bars for dinner each night, you cannot allow your child to consume screen time junk food or digital candy, as I like to call it.
You can begin with limiting access to devices. It’s not realistic to think you have the time to monitor what your child is watching day and night; that can easily become a full-time job. Instead, put off giving that smartphone to a child and opt for a safe phone instead that doesn’t have access to the Internet. Don’t get your child his or her own tablet. Instead buy only one family table that is shared. You might give each child 30 minutes a day with the tablet and predetermine what is okay to watch and what isn’t. According toa Common Sense Media study (bit.ly/CS Media Study), half of two- to four-year-olds and over two thirds of five- to eight-year-olds have their own tablet or smartphone.
No wonder parents are having such a hard time guiding what their children are watching. No wonder they are experiencing the shock of their children seeing pornography. Eliminate the devices for kids, and you will eliminate many headaches and heartaches.
You might have several conversations about what your child can and cannot watch, but what matters most is what you model digitally. Do you ever ask the questions above to choose what you watch? If your child sees you watching something you’ve said is a “no-no,” he will remember that. Since you are older than your child and can handle more mature content, I’m not saying you are limited to G-rated movies from now on. You can watch things suitable for adults, after the kids have gone to bed.
The most effective teaching takes place when a parent shows a child how to choose good content examples. If your screen choices aren’t quite ready to be imitated by your children, it may be time to reconsider your streaming and online choices. We don’t only need to be aware of what our kids are watching; we must be aware of what we are watching as well.
You as a parent are the gatekeeper of your child’s mental diet. Don’t lose heart. You can raise kids who scroll through YouTube and know the difference between right and wrong.
This article was originally featured in D6 EveryDay Foundations Fusion Family devotional study guide magazine summer of 2023.
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