Thanks to the ministries of guys like Dr. Kevin Leman, Dr. James Dobson, and Dr. John Townsend, we learned some pretty key parenting lessons early on. One of the lessons that resonated with us early in our parenting journey was this: One of our primary goals as parents is to lead our sons to think critically about the world around them through the lens of Scripture.
- To compare the world and culture around them with what Scripture says
- To know the difference between right and wrong…good and evil
- To identify injustice and to know how and when to respond
- To trust, then follow Jesus in a life of obedience
We learned pretty early on, however, that we couldn’t force our kids to obey us. I mean, we certainly could, but if our goal is for them to “own” their faith in Jesus and to follow Him passionately as they grow, then the best thing we can do is give them the framework to understand the Gospel, life, consequences, choices, etc.
I really like this video on consequences and boundaries by Dr. John Townsend. It reminds me of the time when Hudson (our youngest) was treating Katie (my wife) disrespectfully. When it came time for supper there was no food at the table at his normal place. He was like “What’s going on? Where’s my food?” I said, “If you treat your mother disrespectfully, you don’t eat when the rest of the family eats. I’ll call you from your room when it’s time for you to join us.” He didn’t like this . . . at all. (BTW, notice, I didn’t yell. Didn’t scream; nothing like that. This method keeps you calm and in control as his/her leader as you try to shape the way your kids think, reason, and act.) He even cried in his room in solitude for a few minutes. Hudson quickly realized he has freedom to choose to act how he wishes to act…but there will be consequences.
It’s really the same for us adults, ya know? You may want to scream at the top of your lungs about how big of an idiot you think one of your co-workers is; but if you do this, your paychecks may cease to be deposited into your account. Boundaries. Consequences.
How do you guide your kids or teammates through boundaries and consequences?
