In a recent study of preteens (11–13-year-olds)¹, parents were identified as the primary influence in their lives. Generation Alpha looks to their parents when they have questions about God. When given several options, preteens reported mom and dad highest on the list, with more preteens going more often to their mom (84%) for questions about God than their dad (41%)². When it comes to passing the baton of faith, ”having a close bond with one’s father matters even more than a close relationship with the mother.”³ This finding does not diminish the importance or efficacy of a warm relationship with the mother, it is just that a warm relationship with the father has more influence when it comes to faith transmission.⁴

The window is open for parents to influence Generation Alpha. We are in the “exchange zone” in this race of faith. So, what keeps parents from stepping into their God-given role of passing the baton of faith to their kids? 

1. They feel inadequate. With all the specialization in professional ministry positions, they may wonder if what they do could be effective. Or, maybe they tried family devotions or family worship, and it felt like a failure because it was less than what they had imagined it would be like.  

2. They focus on the product rather than the process. Discipleship is hard work with many challenges and surprises. There is no “silver bullet” or shortcut to discipleship. The Shema (Deuteronomy 6) was process-focused. Moses outlined discipleship as a lifestyle and process to embrace, taking captive teachable moments in all settings and times. 

3. They had no role model to follow. Many parents and guardians today are attempting to do something for their kids that was never modeled for them. It’s nearly impossible to be a disciple-maker to your kids if no one has ever discipled you. 

4. They are not just busy, they are overwhelmed. There is an old leadership principle that is absolutely true in parenting as well: if you don’t manage your calendar, your calendar will manage you. Remember, God created and ordained the day. He will strategically give you sufficient time to make disciples of your kids. However, many times we choose to use our time on less important things.  

5. They feel unworthy or disqualified because of their own struggles. Perfect parents do not exist, and kids are not served well by parents who push a perfectionist mindset, particularly in faith matters. Your kids will learn by watching how you make mistakes and learn from them, and it will take the pressure off them to always be perfect for you.  

Never forget, your kids don’t need you to be perfect; they just need you to follow a perfect Savior named Jesus. As a parent or guardian, lean into the gospel of Jesus Christ for yourself, and be led by His Spirit. After all, you can’t pass on something to your children that you don’t have yourself. If you don’t have Jesus, you can’t give them Jesus. Rest in God’s amazing grace and be quick to forgive yourself when you make mistakes (because you will), knowing that the Lord has already forgiven you. Lastly, take heart knowing that if you do have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, He loves your kids even more than you do. So, let the Spirit take the lead in discipling your kids and passing on the faith to them.  

1. “Download Gen Alpha Report,” OneHope, October 10, 2024, https://onehope.net/download-gen-alpha-report/, 27. ↩︎
2. “Download Gen Alpha Report,” OneHope, October 10, 2024, https://onehope.net/download-gen-alpha-report/, 24. ↩︎
3. Vern L. Bengtson, Families and Faith, 76. ↩︎
4. Vern L. Bengtson, Families and Faith, 76. ↩︎