Since 1900, the average life span of an American has increased by 33 years.
Why does this matter in ministry? More specifically how does this matter to family ministry?
I heard this interesting fact this week at D6 Conference in Dallas (where, consequentially, I also ate the best guacamole and queso I’ve ever had in my life). In the past, a fact such as this one would have passed me by, receiving only a cursory acknowledgement and a brief reflection on the advances in medicine we’ve experienced in that time. But this week when I heard that, I couldn’t get it off my mind.
It’s probably because I didn’t just hear that. I heard something other things that caused my “family ministry” ears to perk up.
I heard that in a 45-year longitudinal study of 360 families, grandparents were found to have a “higher than anticipated” influence on the faith of their grandchildren, second only to the parents of the child.
I heard that the degree of that influence a grandparent had in a person’s life did not decline with time but actually in some instances, it actually increased.
I heard that about 8% of children today are being raised by their grandparents and that there are more years of shared life with grandchildren than any time before.
I learned that if grandparents talked about their faith with their grandchildren face-to-face more than once a week OR went on family vacations with their grandchildren once a year that those grandchildren had a significantly higher chance of remaining in the faith than those who did not, and led to an increase in grandchildren talking with others about faith struggles in their life.
I learned that “when grandparents consistently modeled their faith, their grandchildren tending to share that faith.”
And I realized there is a veritable ARMY of grandparents out there who are poised to help form the faith of the next generation of believers; to join parents in the beautiful privilege of discipling children and youth; to pass on the legacy of faith that has sustained them throughout their life onto their grandchildren who are just beginning theirs.
What’s even more amazing is that, according to developmental theorists, that’s exactly what God has instilled in them to do. According to Eric Erikson’s generativity theory, as people enter into the “post-kids, post-work” stage of life, they tend to start looking for ways to pass on to others what they have learned and experienced. If they can’t find that outlet, they will tend to enter a stage of “stagnation” where, for lack of a better word, they can get grumpy. In other words, people in this stage need to pass something on their legacy in some fashion to others.
This is where we find our implication for ministry, because friends, if there is anything that needs to be passed on, it is our faith!
Close your eyes with me and picture the grandparents in your life, in your church, in your community. Do you see them? Do you see the army of disciplers in front of you, just waiting to be unleashed? Do you number in their ranks?
If you, like me, have been taken by these facts and statistics, you might ask, as I did, “What next? How do I bring this army to life?”
Here are some practical ways forward that I gleaned from my experience at D6.
Research – Take some time to look deeper into these facts stated above. The first few came from a study done by Dr. Vern Bengtson and can be found in his book Families and Faith: How Religion Is Passed Down Across Generations. The other information came from my friend and colleague, Matthew Deprez of the Fuller Youth Institute and the research he is currently doing on grandparents. You can find information about Erikson’s generativity theory here.
Resource – I cannot say enough about the Legacy Coalition and the work they do resourcing grandparents for this important work of discipling their grandchildren. Take time to look over their website, read their blog, and hear the stories of how God is using grandparents in ministry to their families and community.
Relay – I often tell family ministers that they need to be sure to continually let parents know just how influential they are to their children’s faith. I humbly submit that we need to do exactly the same for grandparents, building them up and encouraging them in the work of discipleship by reminding them often of just how important they are to the faith formation of their grandchildren.
I am excited. I am so excited. For years, we’ve known that grandparents had influence but now that we know just how much, we can truly understand just what this generation can do for our families. And that, my friends, is really good news.
We’ve been given 33 more years. Let’s use it to shape the faith of future generations.