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Angela and I are working on a new book designed for parents of teenagers. We are sojourners not experts. We know what it’s like to have great parenting moments and we know what it’s like to curl up in the fetal position and weep in our ignorance. We are not perfect parents and we don’t have perfect kids but we are learning some things along the way. Here is a sneak peek excerpt from a chapter we are writing about the importance of home. If you have ever wanted to bail on your marriage, your family, or just yield to chaos consider this:

Home is an issue of worldview. This may seem like a strange statement at first but it is vitally important to understand, especially as we face the challenges of parenting teenagers. If you are like us and are Christians living in the western hemisphere, you live in a land of competing worldviews. The prominent worldview in our culture is called secular humanism. Those who look through this lens to understand the world determine that human reason and philosophical naturalism always trump dogma and faith at the decision making level. Humanism suggests that each person has the individual right and responsibility to determine truth for him or herself. By default, the center of humanism is the individual. This has serious ramifications. For instance, in a family that lives according to a humanistic worldview, teenagers can absolutely do whatever they want and think that it does not affect anyone else in the family. For that matter, so can a father or mother. We see evidence of this in western home life each and every day. A consistent lack of submission to parental authority by a teenager is just an expected “teenage” thing in our cultural vernacular. Really, it is rooted in humanism.

Fathers and mothers who leave their families in pursuit of personal happiness in the form of another relationship or to chase a dream is not just another common family casualty. These decisions are based in worldview.

What’s best for me?
Humanism drives the individual to do what is perceived as best for the individual. This is the norm but this worldview is based in lies. It assumes that the individual is the ultimate source of power, influence, and truth. This is not the case.

A biblical worldview:
Thinking Christians understand the foundational importance of home through the clarifying lens of a biblical worldview. This worldview contrasts drastically with the competing worldview of humanism. The biblical worldview is one of relationship founded in the love of God and the truth of His Word. The biblical worldview understands that we affect each other. This is the eastern way of thinking. The biblical worldview is formed in two elementary truths; we need God and we need each other. According to the Bible, we as believers are connected. My sin affects you. The way we lead our families affects everyone. The attitudes or actions of a teenager in the home impact each member of the family. The biblical worldview maintains that we do not live in a vacuum but instead live in community. The biblical worldview and the essence of peace at home is “we” not “me.”

The blog was republished with permission. To read more from Brian Haynes, visit

Brian Haynes
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