I asked a group of parents to answer this question: What’s the stress level in your household (high, medium, or low)? The resounding majority cried out, “HIGH!!!”
Comments ranged from “I homeschool my eight and four-year-old boys and have a 6-month-old adopted daughter” to “I’m a single mom with a house that needs constant TLC” to “I have two teenage daughters…need I say more?” After listening to comment after comment, I admit my stress level was rising fast also!
According to the American Psychological Association, even short-lived, minor stress can have a negative impact on your body. You might feel fatigued, unable to focus, or irritable for no apparent reason. Too much constant stress produces wear and tear on the body and exacerbates pre-existing conditions like heart disease. The body and soul are masterfully connected by God. Consider the fourth commandment to keep the Sabbath holy. God wants us to rest weekly (helping our physical bodies) and to honor Him as creator (turning our souls to God).
These next three action steps may seem too easy to truly alleviate parent stress, but if you actually do these three things, you will experience significantly less stress as a parent:
Laugh Daily. Researchers have found a correlation between how much you experience positive emotions like joy and happiness and a decreased rate of stress. My friend Hannah is like a party waiting to happen. She is a fun person. But of course, when you’re a busy mom, that fun person can go into hiding. She remembers her husband asking her once at bedtime, “Did you have fun today?” She thought about it and said, “No, I don’t think I had fun today.” Can you relate?
Hannah says, “We should go to bed every night and ask ourselves, ‘Did I have fun today?’ I think so many times we flip into this role of being a tyrannical mom. But if we can take time and have fun and understand one another, we understand what makes our family members tick.” Make it your aim to laugh at least once every day. It’s okay to write “have some fun” on your to-do list.
Sleep More. When I’m running ragged, existing on little sleep, I am not a happy camper. But if I get enough sleep – and I’m talking about a solid eight hours here – I am even keeled, productive, and much less stressed. Somehow we’ve bought the lie that it’s nobler to do more and sleep less. Go ahead and take a hit on your personal health and survive on a few hours of sleep. You can catch up on sleep later but your to-do list is now.
But I say, sleep more and be a nicer, less stressed parent. If you have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep, try:
Cutting back on caffeine
Going to bed at the same time each night
Turning off all your screens 60 minutes before bedtime
Practice relaxing activities like reading the Bible before bedtime
Yell Less. You know the feeling. It’s the tenth time you’ve asked your child to pick up his toys, and you’re about to lose it. Heat is rising within you like a volcano. Believe me, yelling will not only leave a bad taste in your mouth, it will also spike your stress instantly.
Instead of yelling, use other methods of communication, which also happen to be more effective. The battles with your children will not be won by who can yell the loudest or stomp the hardest. The war will be won by the smart parent who disciplines not with endless accusations or loud overtones, but with action. What are the consequences that will get your child’s attention? You want your motto to be: Yell less. Do more. Speak with loud actions, and you will avoid the stress of losing it, and your children will pay better attention to the consequences that hurt.
We went through a stage when it was so difficult to get my kids to clean their dishes after meals. So instead of lecturing or yelling, I simply said, “If you forget to put your dish away, it will cost you one dollar.” Believe me, my saver son got that lesson right away. I rarely had to ask him to put away his dish after that. My stress level was significantly lowered at mealtimes because of that magic dollar fine!
Today, remember to laugh, sleep for eight hours (it’s okay if everything doesn’t get done), and yell less. Your blood pressure and your family will thank you for it.
